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F.W. ‘Ted’ Holiday was the author of such ground-breaking and paradigm-shifting books as The Dragon and the Disc, The Great Orm of Loch Ness, and The Goblin Universe, all of which should be considered absolutely vital reading for cryptozoologists and Forteans, both seasoned and new. He famously stated the following with respect to the thorny matter of mysterious, hairy hominids in our very midst: “Real animals stay alive by eating. Giant primates, such as the gorilla, feed almost continuously during daylight, and in no dainty fashion. Bigfoot, however, allegedly lives in coastal evergreen forests which produce low-energy food of the poorest quality. It is impossible to imagine this miserable fare could sustain a race of eight-foot-high anthropoids.” Holiday’s undeniably wise, and wholly justified, words were made in particular relation to the controversy surrounding the Bigfoot phenomenon in North America; yet, they are equally as relevant to the problem of such animals allegedly residing in the British Isles – and, quite possibly, even more relevant, too…

If the British Bigfoot is a “real” entity in some sense of the word, then it’s highly ironic in the extreme that the one theory for its existence that many people might assume to be the correct one – namely, that it is a creature of flesh and blood proportions that science and zoology have yet to classify or categorize – is, actually, the one least likely of all to provide a definitive, or even a remotely, potential, viable answer. Prevailing theories within the domain of mainstream cryptozoology (a description which some might consider to be the ultimate oxymoron!) certainly differ on the finer points of what Bigfoot is or is not, and what it may be or may not be. But, for most of those who adhere to the idea the creature is a living entity in the way most of us understand and interpret the term, the beast is some form of unknown ape, or, possibly, a surviving example of the presumed-extinct great ape known as Gigantopithecus, which roamed India, China, and Vietnam hundreds of thousands of years ago. And, while we can never rule out such possibilities when it comes to Bigfoot in the United States, the Yeti of the Himalayas, the Russian Almasty, China’s Yeren, and the Australian Yowie, on the matter of the British beast things are a tad more problematic. Well, no, actually, they are extremely problematic!

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Category: Weird Desk