Dear Jimmy Kimmel:

I’m really glad you brought up weed legalization with Hillary Clinton Thursday night. This is how cynical lawmakers are here in Florida: Last week, the governor signed a bill that would allow taxpayers to burn a doobie only if they’re dying. That’s right, if you can prove the blood you’re puking is due to a terminal condition, Florida legislators have promised not to prosecute you for trying to feel better. Our representatives are obviously hoping voters here are sadistic and/or clueless enough to buy into Florida’s indecent new “Right To Try Act,” so that they’ll reject an upcoming medical marijuana referendum that would render Tallahassee’s idiocy irrelevant. The November referendum would extend marijuana palliatives to taxpayers suffering from cancer, epilepsy, glaucoma, HIV, PTSD, Crohn’s and Parkinson’s disease. Like, while they still have a chance to enjoy life.

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