The official demolition of a congressional bid to end the black-world death grip on UFO secrets two weeks ago put a dead stop to any illusions about who controls our legislative branch. Still, with human curiosity now forced to take the long way up the mountain, one organization has just delivered what might well be the most data-driven evaluation of UFO/UAP shapes ever compiled in a public forum. Divided into 16 major categories, the listed items read like a clearance sale on Carrot Top’s sight gags:

Discs (domed and undomed), triangles, ovals, spheres, cylinders, deltas, cigars, light/plasmas, lozenges/Tic Tacs, cones, rectangle/diamonds, boomerangs, eggs, Saturn-like phantoms, shoe heels, and circular oddities. Then there’s a miscellaneous, alphabetized bin of sub-categories, which I’ll just cut ‘n paste, verbatim:

“Acorn, antique bathtub, barbell, bullet, changing shape, cube, flattened sphere, football, meteor-like light, oblong, round, tear shape, unknown, white light, z-shape propeller.”

Eggs, cigars, cones, barbells, antique bathtubs – the butt (so to speak) of these visual jokes are the authorities who can do nothing to stop them from popping up and don’t want you or me or anyone else without an unobtainable security clearance to know the true extent of it. And those responsible for shutting us out – military intelligence, defense contractors, a handful of powerful Republican committee chairs exercising taxation without representation – don’t give a rat’s ass about advancing the public interest.

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